Bottoms Up, Bottoms Up

Every time you drive past Beaver their signs taunt you. They say they have the #1 water in the nation. They beg you to stop in for a sip. On Saturday, I gave into the temptation.

Like any logical college student, my friends and I decided to drive to Beaver to get a drink. Yes, we drove 45 minutes to Beaver just to get a glass of water. Sounds crazy? Nah, sounds like a perfect Saturday adventure for a college student.

Upon arrival in the small rural town just off of I-15, we had no idea where to go to get a drink of water. We decided that the iconic cheese factory of Beaver, UT was the perfect place for us to put their billboards to the test. Little did we know how hard it would be to find said cheese factory. All three of us have smartphones, but we refused to Google the location because we were in Beaver, UT. Googling directions in that town should not be allowed. We were confident we could find a large cheese factory in a town that small. It would be like finding a Ford Explorer inside of a small haystack. As we drove around Beaver for 20 minutes, and we ran across this little gem.

You know I love any store that starts with “El.”

We finally made the right combination of right and left hand turns to happen upon the Cache Valley Cheese Factory. Upon arrival we walked back to the water fountain and filled up a tall cool glass of ice water.

Sam drinking water from Beaver UT

My tastebuds were very pleased. The water tasted like I was drinking the fresh untouched waters of Antarctica. It tasted clean and pure, like the hydrogen and oxygen had only recently bonded. There was no tangy after taste, and it smelt like a cool breeze. The only way Chef Emeril Lagasse could improve his already impeccable spaghetti carbonara is to boil the noodles in this water. When Newt Gingrich gets his colony on the moon, they will demand their water be imported from Beaver, UT. Buy your stock now.

Friends and I at Cheese Factory

I am happy to confirm the residents of Beaver, UT have integrity. Their water is pretty tasty, which is not a word I use to describe water regularly. I might even bring a few gallons back to Cedar and try to sale it on the streets, for a small profit, to help fund my college education.


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